Sunday, April 10, 2011

The Neurotic Writer and Contest Feedback

The Neurotic Writer and Contest Feedback

(The Neurotic Writer is a comic strip for writers.)

Therapist: “You look….angry.”

Suzie Writer: “You could say that.”

Therapist: “What happened this week?”

Suzie Writer: “My contest entry did NOT final.

I swear these judges wouldn’t know great writing

if it hit them with a good left hook.”

Therapist: “Did you receive feedback?”

Suzie Writer: “If you want to call it that. Judge

number 666 accused me of inappropriate head hopping.”

Therapist: “I’m confused. Did you write a science

fiction novel, or another version of The Exorcist?”

Suzie Writer: “Head hopping refers to point of view

changes within the story. Rule Number 482 says

No Head Hopping.”

Therapist: “Nora Roberts does it.”

Suzie Writer: “My point exactly. But then Rule

Number 1,976 is Just Because Nora Does It,

Doesn’t Not Mean You Can Get Away With It.”

Therapist: “Anything Else?”

Suzie Writer: “Rule Number 523 says WAS Is Not


Therapist: “So no passive writing?”

Suzie Writer: “An no –ly words. In fact no adverbs,

adjectives, nouns, verbs….”

Therapist: “Perhaps you should skip contests.”

Suzie Writer: “And skip an opportunity to final and get

my manuscript in front of an agent? Of course not!

I will wear them down! Or find a way to slip subliminal

messages into the first three pages. In either case, as

God is my witness, I will not give up!”

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