Sunday, December 6, 2009

You Know You're a Neurotic Writer When...

The Neurotic Writer Shares Her Wisdom
(Just for Laughs)
After reading several episodes of The Neurotic Writer,
some of her fans are concerned about heir own mental health.
Are you worried that you may have become a neurotic writer?
How can you tell?
You know you’ve become a neurotic writer when:

You’re afraid to tell your date you had a “lovely time” because lovely is an –ly word.

You question everyone about critique partners, making sure yours is doing her job correctly.

You check the weather channel twelve times a day because you’re afraid your manuscript might be delayed due to a sudden snowstorm in August. It doesn’t matter that your manuscript was never requested in the first place.

You query your agents based on horoscope compatibility with both you and your target editor.

Your biggest fear is every editor/agent at the conference will slip you a rejection letter under the bathroom stall.

When you have a great idea you’re afraid to tell anyone because you know Nora Roberts is tuned in to the Universe and will somehow get your idea, write the book in three hours, and have it in the stores tomorrow.

You’re convinced the agent turned you down because you sent another agent in the same NY zip code the manuscript last month. In your fantasy, they have become friends and are laughing at you over their cocktails at lunch. (You never know. They could be.)

You are certain every writing organization has a checklist of who is allowed to be published and who isn't based on your picture in your high school yearbook.

If you just realized you are indeed a neurotic writer, congratulations! And welcome to the club. Glad to have you. Don’t worry; although your neurosis is incurable, it is harmless, and you’ll be a lot more fun at parties.

Until next week,
Happy Writing!
Tina LaVon


Anonymous said...

Egads. I should know better than to drink coffee while reading this! Another wonderful post, Tina. I guess I'm in the neurotic club!

magolla said...

Egads! You've nailed me!

*chewobs--Chewbaca's cud.

Donnell said...

Tina, how did you know what I was thinking?!!! So you're neurotic too?

Donna Del Grosso said...

Yeeouch! Looks like we're not alone in this behavior after all!

Author Kathryne Kennedy said...

Oh, this is hysterical, Tina! Well done!

Donna Hatch said...

Not that there was ever any doubt, but I guess that cinches it. I'm am totally neurotic!

Shayla Kersten said...

Ruh ro, as Scooby would say. I'm in trouble! I only thought I was neurotic until now. Your article confirmed it! *cackle*

Mary Marvella said...

You know me too well!

Tina LaVon said...

I'm glad I am part of such a huge neurotic club!