Sunday, February 15, 2009

What Most People Don't Know About Me


The problem with committing to a group blog is you have to come up with a topic every week. I’d like to thank Tia Dani for mentioning this one. Who knows, maybe my abnormal life will inspire a few of you to walk down memory lane. You never know which forgotten moment might turn into a great scene for your next book. I’ll have to put these into some of mine.


Most of the writers who read these posts have known me since 2002, so I’ll have to reach back in time for a story you might not have heard before. I sincerely doubt I can top fellow VOS member, Kayce Lassiter’s bra shopping post on The Butterscotch Martini Girl’s Blog, but I’ll give it a try.
(If you want some great stories, get her talking about her strange dating experiences.)


Okay, let me think…


I Was Once The Karate (Overgrown) Kid. When I was about 30, I decided to take a Karate class because the school I have been teaching at for 17 years now is in a rough neighborhood. I really wanted a single move to take a man out – hopefully not during parent-teacher conferences. I found myself enrolled in kick boxing classes. I broke a board with my foot. There’s a picture to prove it. LOL I’m glad there were no pictures of the bloody nose I received during my one and only competition. I have always been a girly-girl, so my thoughts were, “I have a bloody nose. Cool. This is NEVER happening again.” Later that night, I was talked into emceeing a professional kickboxing and boxing match. I really need to stop letting people take me by the hand, while saying, “You can do it, Tina.” I get into more trouble that way. I could not believe I was on the microphone, in a crowded room, announcing, “In the blue corner…” They kept urging me to continue talking to fill up the dead air and the boxing official almost had a heart attack. He told someone, “Make her stop!” Apparently, I was breaking a dozen or so rules.

In one of my books, she’d end up dating the official and telling him what rules HE was breaking.

I Scream When Other People Drive. In what feels like another lifetime, during my bad-boy phase, I was married to a man who carried a federal badge and a gun. In all fairness, he probably didn’t really drive as if were behind the wheel of The General Lee in a Dukes of Hazard episode, but it felt like it when I was pregnant. I remember holding onto the door, screaming, and praying. Now, whenever I’m a passenger in a car, I scream or gasp when I suddenly feel like we might crash, when in all reality, the chances are good we’re perfectly safe. I have scared Kathryne Kennedy at least a half dozen times now. She says the problem is I am usually so calm, that my sudden outbursts unnerve people. I keep telling myself to focus on the driver, not the road.

This will be a great scenario for a first date in a humorous book.


I Know How Mermaids Must Feel. When the Goofy movie came out, my daughter decided to imitate this character fishing. I saw her swing the line in a circle through the air, and before I could yell, she imbedded the hook into my calf. It had to be cut out. You know you are either brave or stupid when you let your ex-husband take a razor blade to your body. I leaned over the boat because I was too afraid to look. At one point, I felt liquid sliding down my leg. I asked if it was blood and he said, “No. It’s the sweat dripping from my forehead.” I felt better. At least he wasn’t enjoying the job.

In a book, he would dig out the hook, accidentally imbed it in his own leg, and they would both end up over the side of the boat.


I am the McGyver of Home Repairs. I’m not very good at fixing anything and I don’t always have time to wait around for a repairman, so I get creative. One time, I was putting off adjusting the length of the chain in the toilet that kept getting stuck under the thingy (LOL) that allows the water to continuously drain out. I hooked the slack in the chain to a fishing bobber and it worked perfectly. I have also camouflaged cabinet scratches with eye shadow.

Our romance hero would take one look at the Band-Aids holding up her cabinets and agree to spend the next several weeks giving her a hand – for starters.


I love F-16 Fighter Jets. My father was once stationed at Luke AFB. He knew how much I loved to watch the jets fly. During one college break, he got permission to take me out to the flight line to see an F-16. The whole time the pilot helped me into the jet and gave me the tour, (while Dad watched from below) we pretended we hadn’t met while dancing together the night before.

You know what’s going to happen with these two in a book. I don’t remember ever reading about a couple necking in a fighter jet. That would be interesting…


I Could Have Been the Pinup Girl for the Florence Prison System. Tia Dani said I needed to include this one. After my daughter was born my hair got too dark for me to handle. In my attempt to get back to my former light brown, I ended up blonde (after orange) and stayed that way for about a decade. Near the end of my blonde years, a neighbor I barely knew asked if he could borrow my daughter’s rabbit. His mother “loved that bunny.” (I didn’t buy it either.) Soon he said he wanted to violate his probation (for DUI) and go back to prison because he was tired of people telling him what to do. (Didn’t make sense to me either.) Anyway, he wanted to know if I had a picture of myself that he could take with him. NO, NO, NO.

I Don't even want to go there in a book, but I probably will.




It's no fun divulging stories unless your friends join in, so I coerced my walking partners into sharing. Writers are interesting people.


Tia Dani - During my high school years and my first marriage, I made up storylines every night to act out the next day. Unfortunately, that never worked out very well; no one followed their lines as written because they didn’t know they had lines. Realizing that this may have had something to do with my divorce, I gave it up to write romance novels. I have more control with a made-up hero and heroine, although they don't always follow the script, they never divorce me.

I played the French horn in high school. I was offered a scholarship, but turned it down because I didn't want to play the French horn. I wanted to be the lead singer in a rock and roll band.

I wanted to join the Peace Corps during the 60's to travel the world. I changed my mind after realizing that I would have to leave my mom.

The idea for our (Tia Dani is a writing team) book, Color of Dreams, came from a high school friend I hadn't seen in years. He found me while showing his boss how to find a favorite author online. While searching a romance author site, Tia Dani's name popped up and he gave her a call. We played the "what if" and that's how the hero in our book finds his high school sweetheart online. Shaun is actually looking for someone else, but Justine keeps popping up and he can't believe his luck, or bad luck.
COLOR OF DREAMS coming April 3, 2009. The Wild Rose Press

(I wouldn’t need to change anything in her stories to make great scenes in a book. She is a very interesting woman. I love talking to her while we walk.)


River Glynn, writer of paranormal romance - For decades, I have created miniature room settings and dollhouses. There is something satisfying about having total control over some environment in your life. The worlds I create in my writing are similar. Only I could create this particular story with these characters in these situations. That is highly satisfying, too.

(This could be the start of a great paranormal story – I see Stephen King meets Nora Roberts here.)


Carol Webb – A lot of people don't know that I'm Canadian, that I've delivered both the local newspaper and Domino's pizza.

I also have a book coming out by my alter ego, Lynne Logan, on May 1st called Addiction. It's an erotic novella from Red Sage Publishing.

(I can see Lynne writing about a delivery girl stuck in a mountain cabin with a hot Canadian Mountie. At least they would have something to eat. Gotta keep that energy up. LOL)


Now it’s your turn to take a memory and turn it into a great scene.


I've had requests for another episode of The Neurotic Writer. Next week we’ll see what this poor girl is doing to help manage her time more efficiently.


Happy Writing,
Tina LaVon

3 comments:

Kim Watters said...

Egads girl. Thanks God you didnt' ask me. My lips are SEALED!!!!

Tina LaVon said...

Those were only the stories I was willing to share. LOL

We still need to have that drink.

Erin Quinn (aka Erin Grady) said...

What a great blog. Love it!