The Neurotic Writer and The CIA

In this episode of The Neurotic Writer, Suzie takes her writing too seriously.

Suzie Writer: “Happy new year, doc!”

Therapist: “There you are! I was getting worried.

You missed your last three

sessions and you haven’t returned

any of my phone calls.”

Suzie Writer: (Plops in chair.

Big smile on her face.)

“Sorry, doc. I was under arrest. I think.”

Therapist: “What?”

Suzie Writer: “My next book is about a female

CIA agent named Sally Saltless.

Angelina Jolie will play her when

I sell the script.”

Therapist: “Let me guess.

You flew to D.C. and tried to pick

up a CIA agent

on his way out of headquarters.”

Suzie Writer: “Close. I marched up to the

security guard at the door and

asked if I could shadow an agent for a day.

They escorted me to a tiny room

and asked me a trillion questions.

I do believe they think I’m working with that

guy whose wikki is leaking.”

Therapist: “Wikkileaks?”

Suzie Writer: “Yeah. That’s it. Well, they didn’t

believe I wasn’t a spy, so they

called the local Sheriff’s office. By the way,

I’m still waiting for him to send me my pink

underwear. (She drums her fingers on her knee.)

My buddy, the sheriff, explained

that I am a writer and I take my research seriously.

Okay, that’s not exactly what he said.”

Therapist: “I can imagine. Does he still have a

restraining order out on you?”

Suzie Writer: “Nope. It expired.”

Therapist: “What happened with the CIA?”

Suzie Writer: “They said I could see the cafeteria

if I promised to shut up, go home and

never come back. How rude!”

Therapist: “Yeah... So, is that end

of your book?”

Suzie Writer: (giggles) “You know me better

than that. Is the movie RED on DVD yet?

The actors broke into CIA headquarters.

It’s sort of a ‘how to’ video.”

Therapist: (Shakes her head.)

“Let’s make up those sessions you missed

before the end of the week.”

(All characters are the creation of Tina LaVon and are just for fun.)