Sunday, February 17, 2013

A New Thought On Valentine's Day

As romance writers you could call Valentine's Day our holiday. It's all about love. At least it should be. Some could argue it's about chocolates and flowers. For some, it is about one partner proving to the other how much they are loved. I have to admit, when I was in my twenties I was a member of that club. I was married to a macho Alpha male and I hoped on holidays he would take a moment to divert his attention away from ridding the world of crime to proving his love. Whether he did or didn't isn't the issue. I was expecting a lot because of commercials, societal expectations, and because I wasn't fulfilled as a person.

As we get older, some of us become more philosophical. Thirty years later, I am married to a wonderful man who asks me over and over what I want for holidays. He even picked up a gorgeous bouquet of carnations at the store a week before Valentine's while waiting for my answer. Sure, I could always come up with something if I gave it some thought, but the truth is, I have a new outlook on Valentine's and anniversaries. To me, they should be a celebration of your love as a couple and therefore, about you as a couple. My goal this Valentine's was to find a way to celebrate us by doing something romantic.

The Valley of the Sun Romance Writers hosts a huge booksigning every February at the Glendale Chocolate Affaire. They have chocolate-covered-everything. This year I picked up two chocolate-covered cheesecake slices and froze them. I spent the next few days trying to decide what to do about dinner. I knew restaurants would be crowded and I wasn't in the mood to spend half the evening waiting in line to get inside. On Monday, I attended a working dinner at Claim Jumper and decided to order an extra pasta dish to take home. They make an excellent pasta with artichoke hearts.

On Valentine's morning, my husband and I both hid to sign our cards. We met in the dining room, both grinning, holding up our cards at the same time. It was a touching moment that still makes me smile. When I came home from work, I turned off the lights and turned on the flame-less candles. Our evening was romantic and peaceful. I felt triumphant in the fact I had found a simple way to celebrate our love and it was perfect.

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